How to (not) crochet a hat

Definitely (not) a hat.

Hi, all!
I've been feeling the crafting bug a bit lately and thought I'd try to crochet a hat to match the scarf I made last spring. I was thinking that a slouchy beanie would be cute. So, completely sans pattern (yup!), I started. Here's how I (didn't) crochet a hat.

1. Decide to not use a pattern or tutorial. Who needs those?
2. Chain a few stitches, figuring that when you start to crochet around them, they'll go kind of circular-ish.
3. Notice that the stitches aren't going circular-ish. Ignore and carry on.
4. Notice that instead of the non-circular-ish area getting wider, it's getting taller. Ignore and carry on.
5. Realize that this will never work. Continue on for a few more rows.
6. Decide that your hat is now a doll purse.
7. Chain stitch a handle and secure to the opposite side.
8. Have a good laugh.
9. Look up a pattern to make a slouchy beanie hat. 
10. Begin again some other night.

Very simple, right? In just ten easy steps you, too, can (not) have a hat.

At least Katie looks happy with it.

Love,